Permissible? Beneficial?

"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. 1 Cor. 10:23-24

Should we kiss? Should we hold hands? Should we ever be alone together? What does "not even a hint" really mean? Does a hint begin at a simple touch? Doesn't immorality mean something really awful?

These are the questions I battled for a LONG time. All those terms of sexual immorality are so relative...at least that is how the world makes them. I can define my own terms of what a "hint" means. However, 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 is so wonderful to encourage us in evaluating every provision we make for the flesh. For example...

Holding hands. Is it permissible? Yes. absolutely. There is no where in Scripture that says holding hands is reserved for marriage only. We hold hands with our parents and friends. But is it beneficial? If either one of the hand holders is in anyway stimulated in this hand holding, is that beneficial? Does that encourage keeping our minds fixed on Christ? (Col. 3:1-2) If one of the two of you is stimulated, doesn't that usually lead to maybe a little thumb-rubbing....hand massage...back rubbing...it goes on! The kicker is that this doesn't happen every time! Holding hands walking down a sidewalk may not being this effect AT ALL. But that doesn't mean you can do it late it night alone on a couch--how could you get the butterflies in your tummy!

Anyways, in my own dating relationship with Tom, I know that holding hands "gets him going." He's told me! I've always been so offended by his caution in holding my hand. But when considering this verse, if I am not seeking my own good, but the good of Tom, I will JOYFULLY lay down this for Tom, as to not be a stumbling block to him!

We've experienced so much wonderful freedom from sexual sin in slowly laying down each area of selfishness and areas that we claimed as "our own." I've had to learn over and over that Tom is not my own! He fully belongs to the Lord--his emotions and his body. Just because we have learned this term of "boyfriend" from the world does not give me free reign on him at all! If you think about it, holding hands as "a couple," signifies that "he is mine." It screams to a watching world that THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND! I belong to him, and him to me!

But shouldn't any relationship we have scream to the world that we belong to Christ? Should we partake in any action that signifies belonging to anyone other than Christ (unless they are our spouse)...?